Saturday, August 13, 2011

Etiquette for Air Travellers - 2

Continuing my etiquette lessons for air travelers.

Thou shalt not make a ragged crowd near the entrance and exit. Seeing as we Indians are poor followers of the queue system (What "Q"? It was invented in India. So why do we have to follow it, tell me, hahn?). Woh tho firang log queue lagatey hain. (It's foreigners who follow queue.). For us a queue is a "Q" meaning we stand in a circle in the shape of a "Q" and talk, talk, talk, about our "paltics" and usually the person who boards first is the man who is at the tail end.

By the same corollary though shalt not jump over thy aisle-seated neighbour when accessing your window seat. Bad manners!

Thou shalt say and "please" and "thank you" when the hawai sundari brings you pillows and blankets and food and despite the cramped space will not try to brush her a little, and will say "sorry" if you do.

While disembarking thou shalt do as said in the first etiquette in this compilation. You will also beat up whoever sidles up to you and asks to get into "Q" with you and ask him "Baap ka raaj hai kya?" ("Is it your father's kingdom?)

Thou shalt not spill tea, or ketchup on the, whatever thingy is in front of you which is for your eating pleasure. Because if you do the hawai sundari will throw the emergency door open and dispose of you into the Indian Ocean below. Sorry, nothing of that sort will happen, though she might look at you as if she would do just that.

I am sleepy, virtually drooling on the keyboard. See you guys with more etiquette for air travellers tomorrow.

I am @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. I blog here.

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