Friday, September 03, 2010

Is Pakistan a Commonwealth Country? Then Expect Satta to Be High!

Another Saturday, a few thoughts and a few observations (like Behram Contractor used to say).

I don't understand why Sea Link (the bridge through the sea that connects Bandra with Worli about which I wrote here) was created for Rs 300 crore (Rs 3 billion) when they didn't think about the traffic that would accumulate at the entry and exit points which is draining the patience of motorists. Now it takes longer for a lot of people who don't even go by the link to reach their destinations.

A case of the solutions becoming the problem?

As there are ladies specials we men should have a men's special. Really. The handicapped have their special seats, the hawker has his special "dibba", the senior citizens have their seats, only the men don't have a compartment of their own.

Like I don't know why if India is such a superpower it should charge itself Rs 4000 for toilet paper. Those goddamn toilets must be expensive too, innit? Must be made of gold, na? Like a certain bearded politician must have thought, "If we can't win gold, let's coat our toilets with gold and since people can't squat on gold and all we could become rich by selling toilets to the kabaddiwalas (waste buyers).

Like I don't know if we should at all host any games considering how expensive toilet papers are. (Pardon my misdemeanour, but all I can think of when I think of Commonwealth Games is toilet paper.) A young chap in Peshawar has come up with a plan to recycle expensive toilet paper. He... he.... Maybe, he is not toilet trained, or something.

I wonder if Pakistan is a Commonwealth country because if it is then the satta (betting) market would go through the roof. They would bet on a Pakistani losing in every game. (Losing is easy you see, like you drop a catch, bowl a no ball, you can walk to the finishing line when all those stupid chaps try to beat the others running and getting their bones broken in the process. And your bhais make money betting that you would lose. Easy no? I guess there would be a bet on who can walk slower on the running track, an Indian or a Pakistani.

Like if a certain gentleman whose name begins with K was made coach of our athletics team for the Commonwealth Games we would have a lot more washing of dirty linen in public. Imagine all those hidden scandals waiting that would break out, our press would have a field day and the headline wouldn't be about who won gold but who was photographed with him in his hotel room.


दीपशिखा वर्मा / DEEPSHIKHA VERMA said...

nice ..Matthew ,picking up the recent controversy and then writing sarcastically ovr it..its difficult..u did it very well :)

John P Matthew said...

Thanks Deepshikha for the appreciation :)