Sunday, January 24, 2010

No Full Stops in Matrimonial Ads in India, Njoi!

Reading the Sunday newspaper is an entertaining experience. Especially when my eyes rove from killing drudgery of international and national shenanigans into the matrimonial section, to read some of the usual howlers, so innocently put there by apparently well educated bachelor engineers and Indian institute graduates so proudly declaring the qualities they need in partners. The one I have reproduced below is not isolated, almost all have howlers, you can laugh the rest of your month of Sundays:

SRI 26/5’5” BE wrkng MNC B’lore father Sr Exec in central PSU settled NOIDA seek white complexioned extremely beautiful well edu family. Phone:

Gasp!

Now I know what Mark Tully means by “No Full Stops in India.”

SRI (this may be the caste, I don’t know, Srinagar or Sriperumbudur or Sriram Colony Brahmin, or something?)

26/5’5” (age and height, very important, but boy or girl we don’t know)

BE (bachelor of engineering. Though how he passed his engineering with such atrocious English, I don’t know. Pleased to be understanding BEs are alwaysu boysu, not girlsu.)

wrkng (working) MNC (multinational corporation) B’lore (It's very important to show that you aren't the desi clerk working in an Indian company, they have no value in the marriage market, you see.)

Father Sr Exec in central PSU settled NOIDA (Very important information about father, also NOIDA is upmarket.)

seek white complexioned extremely beautiful well edu family. (Oh God, why would he [assuming it is a he, being BE and all, but these days girls are also BEs] want to marry an entire “white complexioned extremely beautiful well educated family”? The fathers of brides are dead ugly. See Steve Martin’s “Father of the Bride” for proof. Assuming he would get a family in the world which is both white complexioned and extremely beautiful.

What’s the problem with this man? Ego? Too much libido? Or, is he the kind who ensnares “white complexioned extremely beautiful and well educated families” and marries them en masse with his own family? Reminds me of the railway complaint written by this gentleman.

1 comment:

ms said...

have read one which says,"fair, english speaking girl, must not steal". the ads which give the groom's age as 45 yrs seeking match 18-25 yrs, are the most offensive. and also the virginal maidens they demand.