Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sirdoyouwantacreditcard?

SircanIspeaktoyouuuuuforamooommmentttttttt?

Yes

SirIamspeakingfromACACAcreditcards sirrrrrrrr!

So?

Sirdoyouwantacreditcardddddsirrrr?

No.

Butsireverybodyhascreditcardsthesedays sirrrr! Howcomeyoudon'thaveonesirrrr?

I didn't say I don't have a credit card. You asked me if I want a credit card. I said "No."

Sirrr ACACAisgivingyoucreditcardwithlifetimefreesir, noneedtopayforlifetimesir.

I already have a lifetime free credit card.

Sirthenwhydon'tyoubuyanothercreditcardsir, afreelifetimeonesirrrr?

Because I can't afford to run up so much credit.

Siryoucanevenpayafter40days. Noneedtopayimmediately. Yougetcreditsirrrr! (She sounds desperate and pleading.)

This is how a conversation with a call centre executive goes. They call them customer support executives (CSEs). Can I call them executives? They slur their words, theycombinetheirwordsintoone, they eat up whole expression, and they get common idioms all wrong. Agreed some kind of Indian-isation of words is inevitable, but is this sort of boredom and lassitude in their attitude acceptable? An educational system that emphasizes rote learning and learning only to score marks (and percentages) is throwing into the world people such as these who don't have a basic understanding of the language. (I am not talking of English here; I mean any language, since these executives can't even write in their own languages.)

Something needs to be done fast before the country turns out into a wasteland of forgotten tongues and the distorted and disembodied argot of a people who supposedly ruled us by making us believe we are only good to be clerks. No, don't want to sound too harsh on the British, they had their compulsions you see, they still have. I think they should apologize to India for having taught us to brush our teeth (using a brush I mean and not using the index finger) and use potty (I grew up using the squatting type, nowadays I can't squat for nuts.).

Anyway, going back to my meandering rant. I don't know. I have seen countless trainers trying their best to convince Indian call centre executives that English is spoken in a certain way and all they get is, "WhatmakesyouthinkEnglishshouldbespokenyourway?"

How about putting pebbles in their mouths and telling them to speak more slowly, like Demosthenes did?