Sunday, May 22, 2011

Ways of Expressing Yourself with a Mundu

As a conclusion of my sojourn to my native land, here's the ways in which you could express your personality through the humble Mundu the traditional dress of my place of birth. These are just written in jest and should be taken accordingly.

The Mundu at full mast

When the Mundu is at full mast meaning worn up to the ankles the wearer is showing his own respectability, his own self respect. When he lowers the mundu on seeing a person he is expressing his respect to the approaching person. You will find him speaking in an odd accent and he is harmless.

The Mundu at half mast

The Mundu at half mast - folded and tied at the waist - is a sign of the wearer's aggression, expressed in typical Malayalam movie style. So be careful of this person, he has ample circumlocutory space to bash up villains and defend his lady love. (Look at how Mohan Lal and Mammooty does it in their films, then you will know.) He is the type who doesn't miss a movie of the two diamonds of Malayalam screen - Lal-ettan and Mamukaka.

The Mundu raised from the waist and tied in a knot in front

Women beware! This is the sign of a man in heat. Rather, a horny man. So unless the man is Lal-ettan (elder brother) himself, run for your lives. If he gently caresses his gene-producing sacks he is twice as dangerous. Such specimens are seen at train stations, bus stations and near colleges. 

The Mundu held in both hands but not tied

This shows the wearer is in a tearing hurry. He doesn't even have time to tie the Mundu. This is the sort who would stamp on you and degrade you with choice Malayalam invectives if you come within hearing distance.

The Mundu tip held in one hand and the thigh scratched with the other

This is a sort of protest lodged with the person in attendance for spreading canards about the person who does the above. Usually this is done by saying "Choriyunna varthamanam parayaruthu," meaning, "don't speak words that make me scratch." If you have said anything wrong, apologise, pronto!

The Mundu tied above the knees

This is the sign of the local hoodlum, the goonda. Run as fast as you can from this man. You will faint (if you are faint hearted) seeing the hair and the striped chuddies with drawstrings he is wearing underneath. He also smells like fish caught and salted and dried.

The Mundu tied below the knees

If it is tied below the level of the knees, he is a honourable person in search of ventilation from the sultry heat. The man is sociable and you can talk to him and get a polite answer.

There's more....

2 comments:

Vinod said...

good one.. would have made it a hell lot funnier if photos were added...

ms said...

and i thought the "mundu" was just a garment worn full length when the wearer was in formal gathering and tied above the knees when the wearer was feeling hot and among friends! thank you for the very illuminating post! now, tell us about the "vesti" - another mysterious garment!