Korean Star Psy's New Album "Gentleman." Gentleman as Tyke

So Psy's new album "Gentleman" has received 82 million views on youtube. But if you see his video you will retch. His antics are anything but gentlemanly. In one obnoxious scene he gathers his fart in one hand and applies it to a woman's face; in another he pulls the chair from under another woman. We won't detail all the ungentlemanly behaviour here, but, will vouch - God be my witness - he is no respectable gentry in our opinion. He is a downright tyke.

That brings us to the question "Who is a gentleman these days?" We used to open doors and hold it for women in our days, but we don't see this done anymore. We used to open doors of cars for women. Ah! We were a different generation. A woman appreciates these gestures but Psy makes a woman fall from a treadmill, punches the wrong buttons on a lift, and, in general, acts every bit of an exasperating freak, We have seen the most uncouth men being adored by women and have wondered if this world is still a good place to be in.

So who made him a superstar with such an international following? We think the world is a sick place if they see his video "Gentlemen," or, buy the album for that matter. Don't get us wrong. This album stinks to high heavens and should be avoided. 

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Happy Vishu! Vishu Sadya at Kerala House

Today, the family went for the Vishu sadya at Kerala House in Vashi. The idea was to give the better half a break and to taste the variety of Kerala's cuisines. On turning up we find a milling crowd clad in their best Kerala "settu" sarees and bhasmam on their foreheads. We were number sixty-nine on the waiting list and the man in-charge warned me that it would take half-an-hour.

It turned out to be a long wait, one, no, two hours. We started wondering, among squealing of children, feeding of hand-held one-year-olds, noisy college youths, and fully-immersed-texting geeks with their fancy mobile devices if it was worth it. "Let's go somewhere else," wifey said getting restless. I said, "hold on," patience is a virtue of the brave, and, so on. Wifey agreed and I kept up a meaningless chatter to keep her interested about how Kerala House was the abode of the Malayali ministers and superstars alike. There was a large Vishu Keni at the entrance which I and all the assemblage photographed. There was a shop selling curios like huge brass lamps, Kathakali dancers sculpted in wood, brass in-laid furniture which I soon got tired of. Then there was this huge adornment of an elephant, displayed in the seating area, which also I photographed. 

Time wouldn't pass. Just as we were feeling  very hungry and looking mournfully at the satiated people exiting the restaurant our number - sixty-nine - was called. 

It was worth the wait. There were: Avial, kootan, inchi curry, sharkara puratti, sambhar, rasam, pappadam, rice (of course), mango pickle, lemon pickle, and couple of other dishes I couldn't identify. It was topped by, what else, aripayasam. Natch.

I felt a bit bloated by the entire repast and had to rest a while at the waiting area before we started back. People were still milling around looking jealously at us.

A good Vishu sadya was had by the family.

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Do Women Make Better Writers, Editors, Publishers, and Readers of Novels?

Here's what Alexandra Pringle, chief editor, Bloomsbury has to say about fiction for women by women. Hell, she is right. Mostly novels are written, edited, published, and read by women. Come to think of it why didn't I notice it before, though I had a premonition about it. Most editors I know are women, and when I walk into a book store mostly it is women who crowd around the fiction shelves and men, if at all, the management and self-development books. (I used to think, misguidedly, that a man can change his life with a book, just as if Rome can be built in a day! Hehe!) And majority of the men in publishing are beat salesmen who go from store to store.

That opens a Pandora's box of doubts in this humble hack's mind. Are women more sensitive, concerned, emotionally intelligent, compassionate, or, what? Are they better at understanding the human condition than their better halves. A novel is after all an intelligent work and requires some empathy and maturity to understand it. Which a man lacks? Oh no! Might just be true. Ask your husband/boyfriend to name a novel he has read and ask him to name the protagonist. Just try this out. 

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Commonwealth Book and Short Story Prizes

Here's the list of the Commonwealth Book and Short Story prizes, in some detail.

If you prefer to see it in the list form, here it is.

I wish! I wish!

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Switching Off for a Few Days; Suggest You Do That Too!

In every life there is a winter and a summer. I don't know the exact quote attributed to some Brit writer. I am not bothered to try because internet failed at home and I am in a cyber cafe and, unfortunately, the keyboard in this dingy place - like in other cafes - is just horrible.  If I press a key I have to manually raise it again to type the next word.

My winter came sometime last year. All of a sudden from an earning, hard working, concerned individual I became this bloated and sluggish individual because of a certain affliction. I won't divulge details. Good that my son is working and wife is working, too, or, else, I don't know what I would have done. They are my safety net, which also includes my sisters, brother, and friends. No amount of medical insurance can help you when you are afflicted. They show you the rule book of you claim some expense.

I never imagined it would happen. I had to perforce retire, enough was enough. I couldn't sit for long hours in front of a computer, which is what I was doing. It's an offshoot of the hectic, connected life I led. An internet connection and an airconditioned office can be a hellish trap. Which I realise now. So I am unwinding, getting away from it all in a residential nature cure centre in Ernakulam. I will not be online for the next 15 days, will not be checking mail, blogging, or, social networking. I wish to find out if all this is sine qua non of our life.

Just now, in the cafe, a guy, a harassed-looking one, who keeps smiling at everyone, left. His hair is standing on ends and he was doing something very involving on the computer. Chatting, or, social networking I don't know. But he is coming straight from work. His face shows his fatigue. In him I see traces of the person I was.

So I am switching off for a few days. I suggest you do that too!

(Managed to type this with great difficulty. Hurray!)

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Chinua Achebe R.I.P.

I know the New Yorker is the best place to go for an obituary. So, I found this obit for Chinua Achebe in New Yorker written by Philip Gourevitch.

Though I have heard about him (Achebe), I, personally, shamefacedly admit, haven't read any works of Achebe. So I hasten to the bookshop today to hunt for books of his: Things Fall Apart, No Longer at Ease, and A Man of the People. And, of course, Girls at War.

I have great respect for African writers in English. I would venture to say that they are far ahead of Indian writers in English (IWE). Why? Because we haven't found an idiom, as yet. An idiom like the African writers have found. They can switch easily from their own language to English and are quite unapologetic about it. Yes, their novels have a lot of African words and usages. Whereas in India we shy away from this thinking, "What will the white reader say?" So we explain our "Lota" as a "small vessel for carrying water" rather than call it "Lota." (Pardon my ignorance, this is just an example.)

Finding an idiom is a struggle for most IWE. We struggle a lot with our cultural expression in our writing and in the end turn out as foolish and fabricated. Well, it's something we as IWE have to deal with. 

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

John Lennon's Glasses

I am a great fan of John Lennon. (Nothing to do with the first name, I hasten to add. John is a very common name in Western countries.) Have always been. So when Yoko Ono tweeted the glasses John wore when he was killed by a crazy fan to gave rise to a train of thought that chugged right through the afternoon. So, this blogger, thought of immortalising it with a blog post.

John always wore glasses with round frames. Don't know why, but he did. May be, he loved the shape, may be, it went well with his rather straight and narrow facial features, may be, he liked to look at himself wearing round glasses. Gandhiji wore such similarly-framed glasses. My mother wore them too. 

However, be that as it may, walk into an optician's store these days and ask for a round frame. They aren't available. They have: teardrop, stretched, luminescent, thin frames, frameless, all kinds, except the round shape. Guess they avoid it like the plague after what happened to John. In which case, it is a tragic thing.

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Don't Fall into the Credit Card (Loan) Trap; Promise of Heaven, but It's Hell

Sad is the story of Donato and his wife Elizabeth who had to kill their children and consume poison because of financial troubles.

True for some time Donato lived the Bombay dream of a flat, a car (a Fortuner SUV) and a lifestyle that included travel and eating out. But when he lost his job and bills kept mounting he had no alternative but to kill himself and his children. But why kill the children for his excesses and sins? His agony and anguish must have been great, as is for most of us. 

Today, finance is something you should treat with kid gloves. A credit card is a trap and you can fall into it any time. There are executive out to sell you credit at all times, promising you easy EMIs for anything you want: vacation, flat-screen television, computer, tablet, anything. They are concerned not for you, mind you, they have to meet their targets. Do not fall into their trap and buy with your credit card thinking you can pay it as you go on. A job is a job and these days you can lose it at any time. 

Of course, you get momentary joy from these gadgets, but all that disappear when the bill comes and you have to pay. Try getting money from relations or friends. They are all in their own personal hells to even think of helping you.

This world is progressing into a world of the rich and the affluent who suck out the money from commoners like you and me. All high-profile business owners are in the docks these days for their indiscretions. Thankfully they are caught, but they have already done the damage. 

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

The Writer as Cuckoo - a Lonely Bird

Oh if only I could write without disturbance. I read this piece by a lazy writer on salon.com which went viral recently. He is a bit laid back and a little out of confidence. He wants to be writer, but for providence sake can't figure out how. Naturally, this happens to almost all writers. There are frequent blackouts and mundane things that intervene in the process of creative cogitation and writing. And then we lose track of our writing, continuity is lost. That's why I am mostly struggling to write this blog, to keep things going.

Quite naturally! Hm.

So, for that space and time when one can write. People write well early in the morning, or, so it is said. But I am late morning person. I believe in early to bed and late to wake up, and I am not an insomniac, mind you. I have fast and good sleep through the night, yet I can't wake up at say six or even seven. Nine is wake up time for me, when the cuckoo is singing its sweet song - these days - outside my window.

I think we writers are like cuckoos, really. Yesterday, on my morning round, I sat close to a tree, on a bough of which was a cuckoo. It was a lonely sight, all alone, no one for company, a dark bird, shy of human beings, seasonal in its appearance. I think writers are like cuckoos. They sing melodiously, and then they disappear from the scene, for whatever reasons, only God knows! And, they, too, sing a lonely song. And, they, too, are treacherous birds, laying eggs in the crow's nest.

Good! Writers need to be less like cuckoos, but I am not complaining! 

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.

Encounter 2: Being Conned in New Bombay by a Smart One

Since I wrote in an earlier blog on writing about my encounters in the past few days, here's one that might interest you.

It's evening and I am walking to the bus stop after visiting my optician in Vashi. Then I see him. He is dressed in a white trouser, shoes, a patterned shirt - worn outside the trouser - buttoned at the wrist, and is chewing on the concoction of betelnut and lime. As he walks confidently towards me he offers his clammy hand for shaking. I wonder why his palm is sweating so much. His greeting is familiar, "You know Kadam, I am a friend of his, don't you remember?"

I don't know any Kadam and say so. 

"You know the one who lives in Belapur."

"Where do you live?"

"I live in Vashi though I come to Belapur. I have seen you," he says familiarly, his voice oozing confidence. But I have not seen him in my entire fifty-odd years of existence. That coupled with his rakish appearance (you know only crooks wear spotless white trousers) has my proboscis up and scanning. 

"So where have you been?"

"I went to the optician."

"Let me see your glasses," saying this he tries to pry open the plastic bag I have with me. I resist. Who is this shady looking man and why is he being familiar with me at 7 p.m. in the evening? There are people around me who would give him a thrashing if I create a minor stir, raising my voice as I speak, or, hollering, "thief." However, let me admit, I am not one who offends anyone, and, may be, just may be, I know someone named Kadam. That seems a remote possibility since Kadam may also be as badly behaved as him.

"Look here, I don't know you, or, anyone who looks like you. You are probably mistaken." I say.

Perhaps he realised this and started apologising and walked away. I walked to the bus stop realising I had escaped from being conned by a smart operator. What do you think?

John is @johnwriter on Twitter and John.Matthew on Facebook. He blogs here. His Youtube Channel Page. His novel Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard.