Amitabh to Host KBC Again

Once again. "It's yesterday once more," sang the band The Carpenters, one of my favorites in my youth. Now it's yesterday once more because one of my favourite programs is coming back on television with Amitabh as the host. I am a great fan of Kaun Banega Crorepati, still am. News via the Big B's blog is that he is the host of the new edition of Kaun Banega Crorepati. So, there's still hope, that slippery illusionary thing. I mean I did try my best to be on the show and I still have hopes. Wish me luck!

Flooding, storms, disease, droughts, species extinctions, and ocean acidification

The following is a warning by Dennis Bushnell who is the chief scientist at the NASA Langley Research Center in Hampton, Virginia, about the hazard of global warming, which as we are aware, is the prime threat to humanity. The more I think about it the more I am disturbed.

"The additional effects of these feedbacks increase the projections from a 4°C–6°C temperature rise by 2100 to a 10°C–12°C rise, according to some estimates. At those temperatures, beyond 2100, essentially all the ice would melt and the ocean would rise by as much as 75 meters, flooding the homes of one-third of the global population.

"Between now and then, ocean methane hydrate release could cause major tidal waves, and glacier melting could affect major rivers upon which a large percentage of the population depends. We'll see increases in flooding, storms, disease, droughts, species extinctions, ocean acidification, and a litany of other impacts, all as a consequence of man-made climate change. Arctic ice melting, CO2 increases, and ocean warming are all occurring much faster than previous IPCC forecasts, so, as dire as the forecasts sound, they're actually conservative."

"Flooding, storms, disease, droughts, species extinctions, ocean acidification," of course, I wouldn't be around to see all this happening but I wonder what anyone is doing to save ourselves and our grandchildren. And all this about to happen in the next century, i.e., before 2100, which means the time my grandchildren would be living on the earth, god willing.

Now, who would want his/her grandchild/ren to go through such an ordeal? The environment is precious, nurture it, protect it, savour it.

The New Indira Gandhi International Airport

The new Indira Gandhi International Airport in Delhi is the eleventh largest in the world, so says this article in Wikipedia. Last time I passed through the terminal it was in terrible shape and there was confusion all around and the airline staff was in a surly mood. At the boarding gate a very assertive lady of a publishing persuasion (whom I know through telephone calls and emails) was insisting, "Open the gate now (read it here)." The girl manning the gate (sorry libbers, there's no word called "womanning") was almost crying.

So I hope things are improving, and "all will be well" (shades of 3 idiots here) with the IGIA.

Olufemi Terry Wins the Caine Prize for African Writing

Since it is South Africa and football fever all over the media and television, I thought this would interest, as an aside. News is that Olufemi Terry has won the annual £10 000 Caine Prize for African Writing. Congrats! Details here.

Monsoon Disorientation

You begin the day with great expectation. Freshly laundered and ironed trouser, fresh new shirt, crisp handkerchief, socks, all co-ordinated, all pervading a newness that exhilarates me after a hiatus of two days. Yesterday was the bandh (everything closed) and the day before was a Sunday. So I had two days to catch up on a lot of writing. Got some new insights which I have incorporated into the work-in-progress novel "Mr. Bandookwala, M.B.A., Harvard."

But a suburban train ride and two hours have passed. Those two hours changed everything. I am feeling as disoriented and as crumpled as a discarded tissue. The train was crowded and I was standing on my toes all along, beside people all wet, trying not to be stepped on the toes. My shoes are patent leather and I don't like them being stepped on, "Don't step on my blue suede shoes," so Elvis crooned in "Blue Suede Shoes." Ah, something similar.

Then at V.T. there's a vile and unrepentant rain falling. There's a sea emptying, and a sea of people being soaked to their bones, a huddle of wet bodies sullenly making their way to work. The Azad Maidan is flooded and a wary crowd wades through the water. I take a long cut, a detour via the VSNL telecom tower, then down Fashion Street to Bombay Gymnasium to New Marine Lines. The water's pouring down my umbrella, my starched trousers are soaked, the creases gone, my patent leather shoe is full of water, my shirt is wet and clings to my skin, and the bag with my lunch is also soaked. I am wet and in a dither which feeling stays through the day.

A sad twist to a promising day, the first of the really malicious storm that descends every year. But this monsoon too I have resolved to take nature and rain in my strides. That sounds brave.

Two Movies “Three Idiots” and “Loud Speaker”

Three Idiots

Today I saw "Three Idiots" a movie I was meaning to see for what seems ages. My Bollywood quotient isn't much high (I blame fatigue) and I feel sort of impatient with long cinematic narratives that are going nowhere in particular. But having said that and having heard a lot about the movie I found it a big let down. Agreed, it has elements of an engaging film in which the characters elicit your sympathy and you go along with what is happening in their life as if you are experiencing in your own. This is the quality of all good literature and arts. First and foremost an artist wants his ideas and characters to be accepted for what he/she is and he/she wants the audience's sympathy. Which this movie gets. But why all this rona-dhona (crying and maudlin sentimentality)? Our directors think if they don't make you weep then their films aren't good enough. Bunkum.

It began on a very good note, engrossing scenes of college, fun all the way. Then it wandered into sentimental territory and I went cold and cut off. Something switched off. Why do sentiments have to play a major role in all our cinemas, the crying, the shedding of crocodile tears? As a people we are very shy of being seen crying, we keep things pent up, we bottle up, but on screen our actors shed copious tears, rant and rave and look how the women cry and throw tantrum. That was what was off-putting about the movie. But it is an excellent movie by Bollywood standards because there is a storyline and a plot line (unfortunately these two lines are often missing from our films).

Loud Speaker

No this is not a film about loud speakers. It's about a man called "Loud Speaker." This lovely and well-directed Malayalam movie is about a man who brings sunshine into a co-operative housing society with his charming rustic ways. Mammooty (big fan of his here) plays the loudspeaker to perfection.

How do I know?

The character is a Nasrani meaning Syrian-christian (of my provenance) and Mammooty through his character study exactly replicates the manner and language of Syrian-christians. For example:

What is "entha" in rest of Kerala is "enna" in Syrian-christian lingo.

Likewise "Enthina" is "ennathina." I couldn't but admire the effort, the observation, the genius that must have gone to script such nuances in this movie.

(Note: though Malayalam may sound like a single language throughout the expanse of the state the language is spoken in a hundred different variants, some sing-song, some truncated and sounding like Tamil.)

A thing that stands out is the cinematography. It's so subtle I wondered if it is a foreign movie. The camera moves unobtrusively, slickly, the dialogue is understated not loud, the acting is subtle not hamming.

On the day of the bandh when the rest of the country was in seeming turmoil I enjoyed these two movies.

Which is the better movie?

I am not being biased (which, of course, I may unknowingly be, who knows, it may be in the genes) but "Loud Speaker" is a better movie because it has consistency, a well researched script and the acting is superb. You feel as if the director is really in control. There are elements to this movie which entertain and draw your sympathy to the characters, which all good movies should do. The Malayalam movie has progressed and the Hindi movie can learn a lot from it.

The Decline of Artistic Merit – V (Writing)

Scenario: You are inside a newspaper office. Difficult, but just imagine for this once.

The action is at the news desk. The latest news is coming in and intelligent and pretty Ms. Sahasrabudhe (she, wearer of funky spectacles) is writing captions and slugs and summaries that will appear in tomorrow's newspaper. She finds it difficult to fit the caption "The economy is in doldrums on the back of recessionary trends" in the available space which is 24 square centimeters. She approaches the chief sub-editor whom she calls the chief.

"Chief, I have a problem."

Chief doesn't look up. He is engrossed.

"Chief I have a problem."

"Eh? Whaaat? You aaare always disturbing me when I aam concentrating." He is the sort whose words run faster than his thoughts, "What's it tell me quick."

"Er, I want to fit, "The economy is in doldrums on the back of recessionary trends" in 24 square centimeters, she indicates the space with her fingers.

"What's your problem?" he takes a sheet and writes, "The enomy is in dldrums on the bk of rnary trends."

"But sir that's bad English, no?"

"Who says it is bad English. You know or I know?"

"Sir, but that is SMSese, and we don't use SMSese."

"Same question, repeat. I know or you know?"

"Sir, I don't think this is right, I will ask the news editor."

"Okay go," he says gleefully with a contented smile.

The news editor is Mishraji who is fond of eating powdery betnet masala from a pouch he keeps in his shirt pocket.

"Mishraji, the chief tells me to write a caption thus, "The enomy is in dldrums on the bk of rnary trends."

"Why what's wrong? You know or I know?"

"But sir, sir, that's wrong no? What will the readers say? Besides the Oxford English Dictionary and Webster's says that sort of writing is bad. The whole world will laugh at us." Ms. Sahasrabudhe says.

"Who cares about the reader? As for Oxford and Web-wib-whatever… I have got orders from our revered and respected chairman. SMSese is the new trend of a dynamic younger generation. You know or he knows better? So we are going ahead and using it. Do it or else?" Mishraji says between pouring mouthful of betelnut masala into his mouth and chewing on it.

"But Mishraji, I am the younger generation."

"You know or I know who is what?"

Ms. Sahasrabudhe, she of the funky spectacles removes the permanently-fixed appurtenance from her face as she is in tears and says, "Yes sir, if you say so."

Who decides about the goodness of English in newspaper offices?

Big B Acts in Malayalam Film “Kandahar”

The "Don" (My most enduring memory of Amitabh is in his role as "Don.") is out shooting in Udhagamandalam for a Malayalam Movie titled "Kandahar" with none other than Malayalam superstar Mohan Lal. Here's another report of the shoot.

Now the magnanimity of Amitabh is that he is not charging anything for his role. Very sweet of him.

Blog: Living a Freewheeling Peripatetic Life around the World

Lisa Lubin lived in bed and breakfast joints, torn and overused jeans and flip flops, bathed in hotel soaps the size of pebbles (the sort hotels handout with the room key), led a peripatetic life around the world and came back to settle in Chicago. Read about the way she did it, also with interesting tips on what she missed and didn't miss. Didn't miss much, that is.

The Decline of Artistic Merit – IV – Writing

What's good writing? Nobody in the Indian corporate world has any idea.

"We wanted a good the writer. Hm. He, or, in the world of women's empowerment, she, should be brilliant, one another Shakespeare, or, Anne Hathaway," said corporate head honcho Gaitonde who was particularly confused about the use of article.

"We will do the needful at our earliest convenience, sir. Rest assured, sir, most humbly as requested." This is from Balasubramaniam the office busybody who has a habit of poking his nose into everything and messing things up.

So an expensive ad is put in the high-cost high-profile newspaper as follows:

"Needed Corporate Communication Specialist

"If you are the next Shakespeare in waiting, need a steady job, a ready environment to grow, we offer you the challenges you need. Salary no bar. Experience desirable but will not be a constraining factor. Apply Box No.:"

Since experience was only desirable, thousands apply. Balasubramaniam has applications by the sack full. He lists 20 candidates for interview. He selects 5 for the head honcho to interview. Out of this he selects a girl with curly hair; dreamy looks and who devours books by the way a hungry dog would swallow dog biscuits. The honcho likes her distracted looks and air of erudition.

But he finds that she is neither Shakespeare in the making, no, not even an Anne Hathaway. Though the girl reads a lot, she can't write corporate copy the way honcho wants it, which goes something like this:

"Since economic conditions are conducive to market penetration of the company's products, we should test market only the market-ready and ready-to-launch products suitably and concomitant with our pre-arranged launch strategy as per MD's directions."

Poor girl had a heart attack when she was asked to study the sentence and draft a launch strategy similar to this. According to her fine literary sensibility this is bad writing. She re-writes as follows:

"Economic conditions are amenable to selling of our products. We should sell only products according to our MD's direction."

The head honcho Gaitonde didn't like simplicity. He is a "double-eye" (meaning both IIT and IIM) which means he indulges in weaving a web of words around the most commonplace things. For him incomprehension was a mark of his market penetrability and management acumen. So he sacks the corporate communication specialist, as he thinks she is not worthy of being even an understudy to Shakespeare.

Balasubramaniam is back to square one. The search continues for a corporate communication specialist. Balasubramaniam's problem is he can't distinguish between literary writing and corporate communications. He is confused. (To be continued.)