It’s sad. It’s also mind-fodder-for-a-blog (desperately in need of worthwhile subjects) and, well, um, er, in a manner of speaking, sort of, putting it mildly, disconcerting. The jury is out in the inner soul of Indian consciousness: Indian men always take their women for granted.
First, a confession: I am an awards addict. If there’s one thing I would be glued to the telly unless it happens to be a movie starring these three of the world’s finest actors – Gene Hackman, Clint Eastwood, and father-son-duo Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas –, it’s an awards function. Why I am a great fan of these three actors is because besides being great actors they are rather old-fashionedly chivalrous and gentlemanly around their women/girlfriends. Watch the gallantry of Gene Hackman in Mississippi Burning, of Clint Eastwood in Every Which Way but Loose, of Michael Douglas in Disclosures when he is told by his secretary that she dislikes his accidental touching of her. He apologises immediately.
I can’t vouch the same for Indian actors. The setting was the IFFA awards and on stage to receive the awards were Hritik Roshan and Arjun Ramphal. You know the scenes: the actors (Hritik and Roshan, not together, separately, in two different award categories) walk to the stage, the cameras pan Suzanne Roshan and Meher Jessia (wives respectively) several times, the awards are presented, the actors thank the IFFA, the producer, the director, (camera pans Suzanne and Meher again, and again, and again, catching their teary-eyed, breaking emotions), the cast, crew, the production designer (the cameras pan the wives ad nauseum), even the co-stars (the lens pan crazily at the wives [some good souls in the control room think their names will come up]), but still no names of the wives, the ones who cook, clean, decorate house, maintain the wardrobe, decorate the house, wait for their men to return from their shoots. Yesterday, a whole nation sat on the edges of their seats to see if their wives would find a mention (at least, I did), but, no, they weren’t even mentioned. Hmm. Indian actors/stars, rarely, if ever, mention their mothers/wives.
What does this behaviour say about our stars: the role models who are imitated, trendsetters, worthy of being aped, who should be setting the standards on camera, the celebrities, the lucky ones? See this article in which Michael Douglas thanks his father Kirk and mother Diane for his genes and his talents. Did our stars, at least, even mention their mothers? No. Am I any different? I don’t know what will come out of my mouth if I am asked to receive an award. (Which eventuality, might never come, I am sure.) I still don’t know if I will mention my wife and my mother because it’s the way we, Indian men have been raised, indeed, conditioned to think.
Interesting article I read recently titled, “ Why Indian Men Are Still Boys.”
It is very difficult to say who is responsible for such attitudes.They, their parents or their wives.But whatever is the reason, it is certain that there is fundamental flaw in our upbringing and tradition that makes us emotionally apart while keeping us visibly close.Here in India relationships are based on imposition not on love."I am your father,so respect me" type attitude is creating a void in our relationships unconsiously.
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