Today’s experience on my morning walk was a
bit disturbing, in a sense, it affected certain beliefs and assumptions of
mine. Most people think writing is a dream job and that all one needs to do is sit
in a room, facing a window, and write. Most people are taken up by this
illusion to be writers. Here’s what Angus Wilson says in Adil Jussawala’s book
“I Dreamt a Horse Fell from the Sky” (My present reading):
“People
still come up to me at literary luncheons... and say the most awful things.
There was this lady who came to me and said, ‘Oh, Mr. Wilson, I’ve always
wanted to write, but I just can’t find the time.’ Isn’t that extraordinary?
People don’t realise how much I’ve had to give up in order to write.”
This was something such. I was on my usual
morning walk around the Artist Village dam, which had dried up of late. It
probably portends to the harsh summer that will follow, I guess. Grass was
growing on the edges of the little puddles that were still left, making it look
like a group interconnected ponds. There were birds pecking at small fishes
and, on the opposite shore, a group of children were fishing with a net.
Then I heard shouting, loud hysterical
shouting. It was coming from a few huts that had been built around the dam,
where poor daily-wage earners were living. I was in a shock when I went to
investigate. She was a published writer of repute, who had, lately, fallen into
bad times. Was fortune to blame or society, or, the literary establishment, I
don’t know. She was hardworking and spent long hours writing and, somehow, her
brilliance is rumoured to have turned against her. Her latest works weren’t
published, reason for which I am unaware.
She stops me and asks me how long I have
been staying in the neighbourhood and how long the huts have been here. I found
this odd because I know her, her family, and her reputation as a writer. Though
presentable, she was in dishevelled state and wore a dirty-looking house coat. I
tell her I have been living here for the past thirty years and know her
husband. The huts came up in the last few years, as they always do in vacant
spots of land in New Bombay. This is the first time I am talking to the
reclusive writer. She was unhappy about the huts and the temples that had come
up a few years earlier, about which we could do nothing. These days, we have a strict
municipal commissioner who is demolishing these structures only to find them
cropping up again. It’s a law of nature that people’s faith can’t be challenged.
These things I discuss with her, telling her that she should complain to the
authorities, not deal with them, meaning hut dwellers, directly.
It was a strange encounter. She is past her
prime in writing and I am still in search of my identity as a writer. It seemed
odd that after having achieved so much, she hadn’t found contentment and self
satisfaction. I came away very disturbed by the walk.
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