Do You Have a Good Birthday Message?

Do you have a good birthday message?

What can't you write a birthday message?

No, I don't know. I want to impress this person.

Why?

I want this person to be impressed by my language skills.

Then break your head, think, write the best message you can think about, then I will edit it.

After an hour, the person comes back with a message: Dear So-and-so, on this day, when sky is washed in blue, the air feels like glue, I think of nothing but you, wish you on your happy birthday.

There are problems here. There are mixed metaphors and the adjective in "Happy birthday" has been turned into a noun. You should have written "wish you a happy birthday."

No. I don't know how to write, you write for me.

I charge Rs 100 per word to write, my rate for friends. I am expensive. I am choosy about clients I write for.

I can't pay that much.

Then send the message you have just written.

No, that will not impress. Oh, why didn't I learn to write a simple greeting!

Then don't send a message.

Oh, why didn't millions like you in this country learn to write a message? Oh, why?