Bar News Coverage of Humpty Dumpty

Saw the latest edition of Bar News, and it sounded like a bar brawl to me. The news was about a prominent film director’s son caught in a muddle with extremists, hence the treatment is also a bit like Bollywood, but I am exaggerating, or am I?

It’s a different take on this post by Paul Nixon, which is hilarious. Loud Bollywood-is music playing in the background, the presenter shouting like he was presenting “san sani” and the commercials in between that did a bit of self-promotion, all a big waste of the viewer’s time. If this is going to be news, I better not watch it. Internet, social networking channels, twitter, facebook, here I come.

Bar News presenter in studio:

(Hitting the high notes, screaming into the mike) Dekhte hain how humpty dumpty sat on a wall and humpty dumpty had a great fall.

Tun... tun... taann....

Bar news walks to you, talks to you, it even talks down to you, you idiot. Over to you Kishore, Kishore?

Kishore:

I just learnt that humpty dumpty sat on a wall and humpty dumpty had a great fall. Dekhna hai how humpty sat on a wall at all, and how he fell, whether he defied the laws of gravity, or did the wind do it. Over to you.

Studio:

Bar news, talks to you, walks to you, even talks down to you, even screams to you, even pokes you in the rib with its rib-tickling news, so stay tuned. Over to you Kishore, Kishore?

Kishore:

I just learnt that humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall, and the latest news is that, all the kings men came (on horses) and couldn’t put humpty dumpty together again. Over to you.

Studio:

See, bar news is doing this great service to humanity. But why aren’t you people giving us TRPs which is what we want. See (screaming) humpty dumpty sat on a wall, humpty dumpty had a great fall, all the kings men couldn’t put, humpty dumpty together again.

I switch off the television.